« Notes from New England

Notes from New England
2025-01-08

Ayuh - that’s the way we say “yes” in Maine.

And yup, - another affirmation - it’s winter heah… Mainers have no “r” on the ends of words.

Many Mainers would say, “Ayuh, it’s wicked winta.” and some would say, “Ayuh, it’s fuckin' cold.”

It’s been below freezing for about a week. That’s riveting. Bracing. And the wind makes is “colda.” Remember, no “r’s.”

Yesterday the wind chill bottomed out at a -7 degrees Fahrenheit. That’s just too cold to take Bella for a walk, even if she loves the chill. It’s bracing, remember?

And that bracing cold has yielded a bright epiphany.

When it’s this cold, I check the temps several times a day. “Alexi, what’s the temperature?” or “Alexa, what’s the wind chill temperature?”

Then, something wacked me right side o’ the head. That wind chill temperature of -12 degrees is twelve degrees below zero in Fahrenheit terms or 24 degrees Celsius. That’s twenty-four degrees below freezing water’s temperature measured in Celsius.

C’mon. What the hell.

Suddenly it strikes me that those Fahrenheit temperatures are just social lies. They are social lies because everyone thinks that -12F is warmer than -24C. AND everyone is walking about in multiple layers of coats freezing to death. By the way, -12F or -24C is a four layer day.

So, why are we using that Fahrenheit scale anyway? Isn’t it time to change to what the rest of the world uses? Isn’t it time to have one system of measurement?

But then again, we Americans can deal with lots of variable systems. We go to the store to purchase a gallon of milk (actually measured in pounds), but we buy a litre of soda.

It’s kind of a systemic psychosis. Say one thing and measure another. Do one thing and report another. Measure one thing and record it multiple ways.

Ayuh.
It’s dumb.

But I should not be surprised. We Americans tend to do that a great deal.

We talk about democracy and elect an oligarch - an oligarch with friends.

We talk about human rights and self-determination and threaten to take over Greenland. Or Canada. Or Panama.

As I wrote, it’s cold here. When it’s that cold, we retreat to a good book, soul solace. There’s nothing better than a recliner, a blanket, and a good book while the outside world is freezing solid, the blue sky of winter fracturing itself into a celestial glacier.

I’ve been reading James by Percival Everett. It’s a good book. At one point, James tells Huck,

“Folks be funny lak dat. Dey takes the lies dey want and throws away the truths dat scares ’em.”

(Everett, Percival. “James.” Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group, 2024-03-19. Apple Books.)

It sure does seem that we Americans have done exactly that - chosen what we want as truth - be that in our temperature or in our leadership.

Ayuh… the view from Maine is cold, no matter how you measure it this week.

We always think of Maine as a state in the “northern” US. Then again, if the soon to be sworn in President gets his way, we Mainers might be part of middle America.

We would be lucky to be the middle of anything. Not that I want that.